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Less than 2.5 years ago I sat on my couch and contemplated killing myself. I had relapsed. The relapse was brief but the impact on my mental health was severe. Yet again my life was saved by the recovery scene and my family. The truth is I had always left the door open for one more shot at cocaine. In recovery we call this a ‘reservation’. When I picked up cocaine and alcohol again it nearly killed me mentally. I couldn’t cope with that relapse.

After getting well again and seeking out support I am now one week away from being a published author. My dream is a reality. My book has had reviews from credible sources who I respect in doses too huge to articulate. I care so much about tackling addiction in society and in every professional job I have had it has been such a tough task for various reasons. But now my book has been mentioned in Scottish Parliament in relation to the issue.

For me this is only the beginning. There is so much I want to do with this journey. But my overriding message to anyone struggling today is DO NOT GIVE UP. Recovery exists. Even if you are not an addict and it’s mental health battles you have, DO NOT GIVE UP.

Help is scarce in society but that’s a political topic I will tackle later on down the line. What we can do is HELP EACH OTHER. Let’s make it safe to talk. Let’s keep the conversation open. People are dying every day with addiction and/or severe mental health issues. We need to stick together on it.

I am still working on myself as a person. I still fuck up. I still make mistakes. I can still get it wrong. But I DON’T PICK UP SUBSTANCES. And when I struggle I reach out. As for the rest of the things I am trying to work on, it’s one day at a time and I will strive to improve and work towards being a better human.

If I had killed myself any of the many times I wanted to, none of this would be happening now. This is the most exciting ride I have ever been on. And whilst I am a work in progress and still getting therapy to help with some things, I feel more FREE now than I ever have in my entire life.

Love to you all πŸ’šπŸ’œ